Today, I’m going in for ANOTHER echocardiogram. They’ve already determined that there was no permanent damage to my heart, so I wish they’d leave me alone. Don’t they know I’ve got books to write?
For the record, I know that I’m a pain in the butt, as patients go. It’s a duty really. The doctors are too arrogant. I see myself as God’s sandpaper. It’s my job to smooth off their rough edges.
It’s only fair, right? What goes around come around. What’s good for the goose, is good for the...well, you get the point.
So, I’ve been eating beans for a week. I’m going to make them choke through their paper masks and their eyes are going to water. It may be passive-aggressive, but we have to get our joy where we can find it.
Hey, they get to dress me in a gown that exposes my colossal derriere. (Note to self: wear yesterday’s undies) Then they will make me lie down on a cold table and shove fire hose up my... Wait a sec..., that was the colonoscopy.
It’s time for a little payback. After all, in the last ten years I’ve had cameras up my front, back, and down my throat (not the same camera), three MRI’s of my brain, four CT scans of my heart, one on my liver and so many ultra sounds, I can’t remember.
Ok, a pre-test diet of beans, no shower and wearing yesterday’s smelly undies, might seem like a lame attempt at payback, but it gives me a reason to smile. ... : )
For the record, I know that I’m a pain in the butt, as patients go. It’s a duty really. The doctors are too arrogant. I see myself as God’s sandpaper. It’s my job to smooth off their rough edges.
It’s only fair, right? What goes around come around. What’s good for the goose, is good for the...well, you get the point.
So, I’ve been eating beans for a week. I’m going to make them choke through their paper masks and their eyes are going to water. It may be passive-aggressive, but we have to get our joy where we can find it.
Hey, they get to dress me in a gown that exposes my colossal derriere. (Note to self: wear yesterday’s undies) Then they will make me lie down on a cold table and shove fire hose up my... Wait a sec..., that was the colonoscopy.
It’s time for a little payback. After all, in the last ten years I’ve had cameras up my front, back, and down my throat (not the same camera), three MRI’s of my brain, four CT scans of my heart, one on my liver and so many ultra sounds, I can’t remember.
Ok, a pre-test diet of beans, no shower and wearing yesterday’s smelly undies, might seem like a lame attempt at payback, but it gives me a reason to smile. ... : )
