/************** REMOVE THIS TO UNHIDE THE BLOGGER NAVBAR **************** **/ #b-navbar {height:0px;visibility:hidden;display:none} /** *************************************************************************
June 15, 2006
posted by David Meigs at 6/15/2006 08:47:00 AM
Today, I’m going in for ANOTHER echocardiogram. They’ve already determined that there was no permanent damage to my heart, so I wish they’d leave me alone. Don’t they know I’ve got books to write?

For the record, I know that I’m a pain in the butt, as patients go. It’s a duty really. The doctors are too arrogant. I see myself as God’s sandpaper. It’s my job to smooth off their rough edges.

It’s only fair, right? What goes around come around. What’s good for the goose, is good for the...well, you get the point.

So, I’ve been eating beans for a week. I’m going to make them choke through their paper masks and their eyes are going to water. It may be passive-aggressive, but we have to get our joy where we can find it.

Hey, they get to dress me in a gown that exposes my colossal derriere. (Note to self: wear yesterday’s undies) Then they will make me lie down on a cold table and shove fire hose up my... Wait a sec..., that was the colonoscopy.

It’s time for a little payback. After all, in the last ten years I’ve had cameras up my front, back, and down my throat (not the same camera), three MRI’s of my brain, four CT scans of my heart, one on my liver and so many ultra sounds, I can’t remember.

Ok, a pre-test diet of beans, no shower and wearing yesterday’s smelly undies, might seem like a lame attempt at payback, but it gives me a reason to smile. ... : )
 

Links to this post:

<\$BlogItemBacklinkCreate\$>




30 Comments:


At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger silent dreamer

Hey, i was flipping through random blogs and coming across yours made me smile when i was feeling down. thanks...a lot. your post has given me reason to smile to. n_n

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Silent Dreamer – I’m so glad you stopped by.

Sorry to hear you are feeling blue. Let the old curmudgeon cheer you up.

Beans give me joy. Give it a try, and then make a trip to the mall.

Just walk fast.

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Rulan

he he he. So funny. lol David. What a picture you paint. Those doctors better beware. Way out yonder lurks the dairy-air.

What were you like at school?

I love this post. Thank you so much for the laugh. And have fun at your test today. Payback time. he he he

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Rulan, you wrote: "Way out yonder lurks the dairy-air"

So, just "how far" does my dairy-air stick out?

Exactly what are you trying to say?

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Rulan

Oh, hey sounds like there will be more echos at the echocardiogram than there is meant to be.

lol

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

You ain't just tooting...

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Sojourner

Makes me glad I never considered the medical field. :oD

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Ciera

Beans---the musical fruit...the more you eat, the more you toot...

our family reunions aren't complete without them

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Mirtika

Um...yeah, but you ain't had a Pap exam. Only the colonoscopy is less dignified, and you don't have to have one of those fire hosings EVERY YEAR!!!!!!!!


Mir--hates the constant medical proddings that come after age 40

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Mirtika

I grew up eating beans every day. It's a Cuban thing. ; )

So, my digestive system handles beans pretty well. It's cabbage and oat bran that I'd have to use for "payback."

Glad you don't have serious damage in ye olde ticker, sweetcheeks.

Mir

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Ciera, - I love it!

Butt, that’s one song you don’t sing around the campfire

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Cowboy - Except for the patients like me, I think you’d love the pay. The doctors do alright.

A few years back, I helped the wife of a doctor friend with moving some furniture. It was supposed to be a surprise for their anniversary.

I wasn’t there when he came home, but I bet he liked the helicopter ride to the big city, she arranged so they could eat a fancy dinner. But do you think they’d invite me?

Naw.

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Mir, - I’ve never had a pap... butt, I’m a many times veteran of the colon exam.

The truth is that I eat beans almost everyday myself.

I’ve never tried Cuban food, but I bet it’s delicious!

If it’s spicy, I love it.

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

Ciera...another version...

"Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. the more you eat 'em the more you fart"

LOL...Curm, the campfire comment reminded me of Blazing Saddles...LOL!

I remeber when I was in high school, one summer some of the guys tried to ignite their farts with a lighter...LOL...all they got was burnt butt hairs...LOL

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger M. C. Pearson

You've made me laugh through my nostrils! Egads but you are funny. Good luck, Curm. I'll be praying for ya!

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Toot your own horn. LOL

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Bonnie, so there IS a second verse to the old campfire song? Wow.

It sounds like you went to some wild parties back in high school.

Too funny!

 

At Thursday, June 15, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Mimi - Thanks for letting me toot my horn. It was building up.

Sorry about the nose thing. Bad timing.

 

At Friday, June 16, 2006, Blogger Mirtika

Gee, I never got to hang with the guys who ignited their nether gasses. I missed out on a lot, it seems.

Heh.

Mir

 

At Friday, June 16, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Mir, I feel your pain. I only wish I could say that I’ve never seen such a display myself.

Butt, I still wake up nights remembering my Jr. High days and the flaming (g)asses of my drunken friends. (Certainly never me, of course)

 

At Saturday, June 17, 2006, Blogger Michel Archer

Ah! How about no shower and then try to cover it up with wearing way too much men's cologne! Ah, a smell to die for, er..from?

 

At Saturday, June 17, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

The curmudgeon exclusively uses only Hi-Karate.

Women beware.

 

At Saturday, June 17, 2006, Blogger K. Jimmy

awww!!! (gagging and laughing at once...)
nothin like good ol' fart jokes to get a laugh!
ever pictured the queen of england passing wind? do you think she has a little giggle and a sly look around to see if anyone noticed? haha

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Karen, the way I understand it, the queen eats a special diet that makes her winds smell of peppermint.

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger K. Jimmy

WHAT??!! are you serious?

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

I’d never kid about something as serious as the Queen breaking wind.

: )

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger K. Jimmy

aww...!
on the topic of farts, apparantly my mum was changing my daughter's nappy (diaper for you americans) the other day, and right when she was pouring on the powder, my little girl let RIP and powder went flying everywhere! i wish i coulda seen it! ha ha...then she got the giggles (my daughter that is)...she gets that from her dad. i would never laugh at such a thing.

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger Rulan

lol. Baby powder farts. he he he

 

At Sunday, June 18, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

A baby blizzard? So funny.

Now watch, there will be 20 writers include that scene in their books.