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October 25, 2005
posted by David Meigs at 10/25/2005 05:18:00 PM

I learned something today; well actually two things:


1) Kill the bee instead of setting it free.

2)
I need to start hitching my pants up higher.


I was driving to town, minding my own business when I saw the largest hornet I ever saw in my life. It was buzzing by the passenger window, so I put it down, but the dumb thing clung on with all it’s might. I tried to flick it out when I realized I was over the centerline.When I corrected my driving the bee was gone.

I rolled up my window, but before I’d gone very far I saw it buzzing the window next to my left arm. Again, the little beast refused to go. Like before,I was barreling down the wrong side of the road. I cranked on the wheel, apologized to the worried lady coming at me and looked for the bee.

Gone, woohoo! No such luck. As any plumber will tell you, there is a natural path down the backside of a man’s pants for a bee to travel.

“Yikes!” It stung me on the left cheek.

“Yelp!” It nailed me again. (This kind can nail ya multiple times)

I pulled the car over, raced for the other side of the van and started to drop my pants until I noticed the house with the dark windows. I could almost see a face pressed up against the window. As inconspicuously as I could, I stuffed a hand down my pants and searched for the little devil. Almost had it, but it went further south.

I jumped back in and raced up the road. I found an unpopulated spot, pulled off the road and positioned the van so that the traffic could not see me. I felt the bee on the move, so I had to work fast. I dropped my pants and then my undies, turning them inside out at break-neck speed. The bee buzzed off, and I thought I heard it laughing.

True story (except the bee laughing part). It has not been my day.

 

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36 Comments:


At Tuesday, October 25, 2005, Blogger Rulan

Ouch curm, but lol.
I am sorry, I must admit I laughed, perhaps a little too heartily. Next time, stop the car before you try to evict any such marauding malicious aggressors they tend to have a sting in their tail.

 

At Tuesday, October 25, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Kid, thanks for the advice, butt the darn critter didn’t show itself for several miles. Nope, the next time the little critter is going to die.

 

At Tuesday, October 25, 2005, Blogger Gina Burgess

Oh, David, snort...giggle...hee haw, reading this I forgot I was a lady...Southern Belle... oh, I am so sorry you got stung! I hate those things... but... Oh, breathe, Gina... you tell a wonderful story!!!

 

At Tuesday, October 25, 2005, Blogger Rulan

I agree gina, he sure knows how to tell them. He sure makes a point of making people laugh

 

At Tuesday, October 25, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Gina & the Kiwi Kid, so glad you got a chuckle out of my sorrowful tail (pun intended – sorry). Do you suppose the Lord was laughing too? I like to think so.

david

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger BHGA

I reiterate, this was a story very well told, but David, I chuckled, no I laughed loudly as I read this...so sorry for your pain though...

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger lindaruth

I'm really sorry about your unfortunate incident -- hope there was no permanent damage. But it really was funny. :)
Linda

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

dsb,

I am so glad this gave you a giggle. May the Lord give you a lifetime of laughter. Thanks for stopping by!

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Linda, this goes to prove that life is sometimes stranger than fiction. Thanks for stopping by!

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger curious servant

Consider the wasp's point of view! Dang!

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Anonymous Katharine

Hahahaha.... thats very funny... I do feel sorry for you however. I know what it's like, I have had two of those nasties down my back and they just keep stinging and stinging.

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger Rulan

he he, the wasp must have been really hacked off. Talk about taking the long way home.

 

At Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Curious servant - You are right, poor wasp. nasty nasty nasty.


Katharine - Ouch! It looks like you know what I went through.


Kid - Thanks for advertising my story.


Thanks to all for stopping by.

 

At Friday, October 28, 2005, Blogger Kim

Hilarious! (thanks for the laugh at your expense...)

 

At Friday, October 28, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Kim - Thanks for stopping by. I am happy you got a smile.

 

At Friday, October 28, 2005, Blogger M. C. Pearson

LOL~must have been a yellow jacket! Did you ever see Tommy Boy? But you really had a bee in the car!!! (or should I say butt?)

 

At Friday, October 28, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Tommy Boy? Oh yeah, I saw it. Great movie. Did you see the bee sting scene in Pure Luck? (Martin Short?) lol - Thanks for stopping by!

 

At Saturday, October 29, 2005, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Hey, this was so funny that I had my hubby, Dave, read it too. He actually laughed out loud and that takes a lot (he's a curmudgeon too.) Thanks for the return visit to my blog.

Hope your bottem feels better!

 

At Saturday, October 29, 2005, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Whoops! I meant bottom...I always spell that thing wrong!!!

 

At Saturday, October 29, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

M. C. - Wow, your hubby’s a Dave and a Curmudgeon too! Bottom vs. bottem? Dan't werry i kant spill nithar.

 

At Monday, November 14, 2005, Blogger M. C. Pearson

I'm creating a post to link to this story. I haven't been able to get it off my mind and chuckle about it often!

 

At Monday, November 14, 2005, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

ROFLMAO....Oh Dave, that was priceless....M.C.Pearson is my friend and sent me over here.

I gave You a post on my blog. I've been posting Animal Escapades. This is definitely a 'shooting coffee out the nose' in laughter kinda thing.

I gave you a McCartney son...Let It Bee, Let It Bee....

 

At Monday, November 14, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

M. C. - I am honored that you linked this story to your blog. Isn’t it funny how strange a day can get?

Bonnie - “Let it bee”? I like it. Sometime after Nano, if you are still doing animal escapades I’ll share the story of the day Mr. Bear came a knocking at the front door, or the bat in the bedroom, or the rat in the cupboard, or the time I went slug skating. I found a bug in Bulgaria the size of a hamster. Has a mouse ever run up your pant leg too? Hey, how about the snake bit my big toe and wouldn’t let go....

 

At Tuesday, November 15, 2005, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

Oh, LOL Dave, I thought I was the only person these kinda' things happened to.

As you write them, give me a shout. I will definitely link to you as an Animal
Escapade!! God Bless!

NaNo NaNo...write on..we're halfway there!

 

At Tuesday, November 15, 2005, Blogger RC

Wow! That must have hurt! I'm glad that the bee didn't sting you on your pee-pee!

 

At Tuesday, November 15, 2005, Blogger Dennie McDonald

Too funny -

saw the link on Bonnie's blog.

Nano-on....

 

At Tuesday, November 15, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Rockchild – Hey cool name. Thanks for visiting.


Dennie - Thanks for stopping by. Nano on!

 

At Thursday, November 17, 2005, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Curm~ Here is what's been said about your post in my comments section:

Bonnie Calhoun said...
Coffee out the nose!!!!!That's fabulous. I posted it and you got the credit for this Animal Escapade!

11:34 PM, November 14, 2005


M. C. Pearson said...
Bonnie~ You nose dribbler! Don't you just LOVE the two things he learned?

12:29 AM, November 15, 2005


The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
Thanks for helping my story become a stinging success. Na Nu Na Nu

2:35 AM, November 15, 2005


Pia said...
hahaha... that was funny! can't get the smile off my face. i'm still chuckling...

2:48 AM, November 15, 2005


Jennifer said...
That's a riot! Stuff like that happens to me all the time, but for some reason it's never funny.

8:52 AM, November 15, 2005


M. C. Pearson said...
Curm~ You are most welcome...thanks for the stinging laugh!

Pia~ I know! It's been at least two weeks and I'm still laughing about it. Especially the 'plummer's route'!

Jennifer~ Me too...but when I look back it is always a bit funny!

12:50 PM, November 15, 2005


Running2Ks said...
Oh good lord, what a horrible set of events. It sould make a great movie, though :)

1:28 PM, November 15, 2005


Rockchild said...
This is the first time I heard bout a bee in your pants, because it usually ants in your pants, which my mom says I have sometimes, but I don't so I think she's going crazy!

Be careful with that coffee, Bonnie!

3:10 PM, November 15, 2005


Rockchild said...
Oh yeah, M.C. Pearson! What did you tag me with again before!

3:13 PM, November 15, 2005


M. C. Pearson said...
Rockchild~ October 14th's post is when I tagged you.

Oh, and it doesn't look like you wear pants, Grossa. So, how could you have ants or even bees in them? :-)

4:08 PM, November 15, 2005


Bonnie Calhoun said...
yea, rockchild, its ant in your pants, and a bee in your bonnet!

9:22 PM, November 15, 2005


Trinity13 said...
Oh my...that's terrible!!! I've stepped on a bee once, but never has anything flown into my pants! Good grief...poor guy!

Btw, it was pretty funny, wasn't it...heehee!

4:17 PM, November 16, 2005


Pirate said...
ouch...

2:36 AM, November 17, 2005


M. C. Pearson said...
Trinity~ I had two lovely yellow-jackets fly into my skirted bathing suit once...they kept stinging and stinging. I had unknowingly mussed with their hive while trimming some bushes.

Pirate~ Yep.

 

At Thursday, November 17, 2005, Blogger A Human Bean

I just want you to know that I am laughing with you not at you. I guess you are just lucky you did not get in a car accident. Think about trying to explain that one to the police.

 

At Thursday, November 17, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

M. C. - Wow, that was a long list of coments from your blog. Thanks for linking my story.

David

 

At Thursday, November 17, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Human bean - I always wanted to meet a human bean. Thanks for stopping by.

 

At Monday, November 28, 2005, Blogger Rulan

Ooh curm,
I can't wait to hear all those other stories. Quick, quick, post them, post them.

 

At Friday, December 02, 2005, Blogger Kimber

Stop!! - There are tears rolling down my face.....LOL

I came across your blog, because of M.C.'s post - She was right - this is a very funny post - thanks for sharing....sorry to be laughing at your expense - but thanks for writing this - I am still laughing and can barely see to type this comment....LOL

 

At Saturday, December 03, 2005, Blogger O'Seasnain

to bee hornot to bee... that is the end-all question

 

At Tuesday, December 13, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Kimber, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you got a chuckle. Come on back now.

 

At Tuesday, December 13, 2005, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

~Mike, "to bee" is correct, I think. Thanks for stopping by!