I learned something today; well actually two things:
1) Kill the bee instead of setting it free.
2) I need to start hitching my pants up higher.
I was driving to town, minding my own business when I saw the largest hornet I ever saw in my life. It was buzzing by the passenger window, so I put it down, but the dumb thing clung on with all it’s might. I tried to flick it out when I realized I was over the centerline.When I corrected my driving the bee was gone.
I rolled up my window, but before I’d gone very far I saw it buzzing the window next to my left arm. Again, the little beast refused to go. Like before,I was barreling down the wrong side of the road. I cranked on the wheel, apologized to the worried lady coming at me and looked for the bee.
Gone, woohoo! No such luck. As any plumber will tell you, there is a natural path down the backside of a man’s pants for a bee to travel.
“Yikes!” It stung me on the left cheek.
“Yelp!” It nailed me again. (This kind can nail ya multiple times)
I pulled the car over, raced for the other side of the van and started to drop my pants until I noticed the house with the dark windows. I could almost see a face pressed up against the window. As inconspicuously as I could, I stuffed a hand down my pants and searched for the little devil. Almost had it, but it went further south.
I jumped back in and raced up the road. I found an unpopulated spot, pulled off the road and positioned the van so that the traffic could not see me. I felt the bee on the move, so I had to work fast. I dropped my pants and then my undies, turning them inside out at break-neck speed. The bee buzzed off, and I thought I heard it laughing.
True story (except the bee laughing part). It has not been my day.
