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January 25, 2006
posted by David Meigs at 1/25/2006 10:57:00 AM
.......

“Dad, dad, there’s a bear at the door!” The boys screamed as they ran for the opposite end of the house.

Without thinking (yes, without thinking), I charged to the defense of my children. I ran to the open door and saw Mr. Bear eating the tasty flowers that grew mere inches from our door.

I sized the bear up, narrowed my eyes and clinched my fists. “I can take him!” I mumbled to myself.

“Get out of here!” I growled.

Booboo’s playful eyes turned ugly, his lips parted into a snarl showing his long pointy teeth. He dropped the flowers he’d been playing with, and for the first time I noticed, his claws were as long as knitting needles.

Ok, I know what you are thinking. I should have jumped the bear before he saw me. Another way to go would have been just to let him have one of the boys. Who needs five kids anyway?

Booboo didn’t look so big while sitting, but standing he took on a quality more potent than ex-lax. I have always been a quick thinker, so I smiled apologetically and stepped quickly back through the door.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!” I strategically yelled and pounded my head against the closed door.

My plans worked perfectly. The crazed human routine struck fear into his heart. I could see it in his eyes; he knew he had met his master. He fled like a coward for the safety of the forest. It’s a good thing too, because I’d have given him such a whipping...


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12 Comments:


At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger Rulan

Whoa, gulp. Bet that was slightly hair-raising. I'm sure glad you ducked back in behind that door of yours. I'd love to know what your guardian angels were thinking as you dashed into the fray. Wonder if they dropped their jaws and stared at each other.

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Rulan,

I hadn't thought about the Angels. Now I am feeling badly. I should have been a better Christian and invited the poor beast in.

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger Rulan

Oh, by the way, what is ex-lax?

And thanks for the nervous chuckle. The first time you told me that, I hadn't realised how close you were to that bear. eek.

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger Rulan

lol, he might have been a Christian bear and said grace first before having a snack.

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

you are just to much Curm :)
have you told rulan,what ex-lax is :D
janice

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Janice - Everybody knows that exlax is a tasty kind of chocolate.

 

At Wednesday, January 25, 2006, Blogger Pia

oh, my! you came face to face with a real bear? that's scary!

 

At Thursday, January 26, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

Crum, you are bad, LOL
( reminder don't take chocolate from Crum ) :D

have a great day

janice

 

At Thursday, January 26, 2006, Blogger Paula

What a story! My brother and his family have bears that visit them as well. NO thank you!

 

At Thursday, January 26, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

Sorry Curm,:( I just saw where I called you crum, your not a crum !
janice :)

 

At Sunday, January 29, 2006, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Oh you are too funny! Isn't true that if you hold a stick or branch over your head to make you appear taller that a bear, the bear fears you? I don't think I'd have the guts to try but you seem to have an abundance of it...or is that idiocy? Ha ha! Just kidding...you were so brave to help your kids...ya big bear!

 

At Sunday, January 29, 2006, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

Great story Curm, M.C. told me about it. This happened to me once when I first got married, except when I made him mad I ran so fast I didn't shut the kitchen door...Twenty minutes later and a state trooper and a messed up kitchen...but the bear moved on to happier hunting grounds!

Sorry I don't come by often but the black background gives me a headache and spots in front of my eyes!