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May 10, 2006
posted by David Meigs at 5/10/2006 08:50:00 AM
My dad told me this one.


“Oh no, you didn’t just say that!”

Shocked, the man could only stare at his wife. “Baby doll, honey butt, sugar lips, what did I do now?”

Infuriated, she locked herself in the bathroom. “Mama was right, you’ll never comprehend a woman’s needs. Get out and don’t come back until you understand why I feel the way I feel!”

“Honey booboo, let’s not spend our honeymoon fighting.”

She answered with the sound of crashing of glass. He hurried out of their ocean-front bungalow and started down the beach. After a few miles, he saw something golden, half buried in the sand. It was an ancient oil lamp. Excited, he washed it clean in the ocean and then dried it on his shirt. Suddenly, the lamp started to vibrate, smoke billowed and a genie appeared from thin air.

“I am the genie of the lamp. You are permitted one wish. I can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams, or give you a harem. But alas, there are limits to what I can do. I cannot grant what is impossible, or force love where it does not already exist.”

“Hey, I thought I’d get three wishes!”

“That is my cousin, Siam. I am but a humble genie. Please make your wish.”

The man thought for a moment. “Cause time to go back two hours, to before my wife got angry with me.”

“Forgive me master, but time travel is impossible. Please, choose again.”

The man scratched his head as he thought. Then his face lit up. “I know. We came here to Hawaii on a jet, but I hate flying. I get seasick too, so I hate boats also. I want you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii!”

The genie’s eyes widened like dinner plates. “Alas, you know not what you ask. I am but a humble genie. This task is impossible! The ocean is very deep. It would need to hold up against hurricanes and tsunamis. The distance is so great that there would need to be hotels, gas stations and rest stops along the way. Master, you must make another wish!”

Frustrated, the man scratched his head as he thought long and hard. Then a smile came to his lips. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Genie, I want you to make me so that I understand women. Why do they do the things they do, think the way they think and feel the way they feel?”

The genie’s jaw dropped open, and he stood speechless for a slow count to ten before he answered. “So would that be four or six lanes?”

 

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19 Comments:


At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger Rulan

lol, chuckle, splutter. hahahahahahahaha
It will take more than a bridge to cross that great divide. lol
he he he

Love that one.

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Rulan,

I think this was actually one of Solomon’s lost proverbs.

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger jel

DAVID DID your wife thump you on the head for this! :)


we could say the same about you MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Janice,

I think this is more about the “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” thinkological POV.

But the blonde jokes usually get me thumped.

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger Rulan

"thinkological?" lol Now that's a word I would love to see in the dicshotharry. lol

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Rulan,

It's a new word used by really hip people. Really.

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger jel

I never read that book, and I'm not a hip person :(

i just a stick in the mud!!! :)

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger M. C. Pearson

Too funny. You silly boy!

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Mimi,

Coming from a silly girl, that was quite a compliment!

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

I don't know why no one ever wishes for three more wishes!

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Bonnie,

How right you are.

 

At Wednesday, May 10, 2006, Blogger Pia

i needed a good laugh. thanks. =)

 

At Thursday, May 11, 2006, Blogger Dee

kazaam. that was funny.

and bonnie you are right.

 

At Thursday, May 11, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Dee,

Thanks for the kind words.

And Bonnie is seldom wrong.

 

At Thursday, May 11, 2006, Blogger Rulan

Bonnie, that is the FIRST thing I would wish for, only I would add... three wishes every day forever. lol

 

At Thursday, May 11, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Pia... I’m glad you got a chuckle. Keep smiling.


Rulan... Why not wish for four new wishes every day?

 

At Sunday, May 14, 2006, Blogger A Real Man

David,

I love your BLOG! I have been reading it the past few days and linked you to mine.

Men who want to understand their women should read, "What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women" by Dr. James Dobson and "If He Only Knew," by Gary Smalley.

Women who want to understand their husbands should read Dr. Laura Sleschinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "Women Power."

Powerful reading and powerful books. Kind of like the Bible.

In His Service,

Craig

 

At Sunday, May 14, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Craig,

I am honored to be linked to your blog. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find your blog. I assume it is still in construction...??? Is it accessible from your profile?

You mentioned some good books, and I can think of a few to add you your list like NO MORE CHRISTIAN NICE GUY by Paul Coughlin.

BTW – I thought it was cool that my first visitor on Mother’s day was by a REAL MAN. Hey, we have to enjoy what irony comes our way.


Keep on serving, bro!

 

At Tuesday, May 16, 2006, Blogger The Curmudgeon's Rant

Craig, thanks for the link. I just visited your blog and loved it. I seldom get to visit sites other than those dedicated to Christian writers, so it was a special treat.

Keep serving others, like a real man...